Fear

I vowed not to look because of fear of what I might see.

So why did I?

Nothing has ever been so confusing in my life.

So now I can't stop thinking about him.

Do I still long for him?

Or do I just want the loneliness to be filled?

Sometimes I just want to talk to him, to get everything settled.

Sometimes I think I want him,

But all the crap he put me through then pops in my head.

I think, does he care?

Probably not.

But the look in his face today

I thought I saw that something that I havent seen since December.

Do I still love him?

Or do I love what used to be?

I am sick of the confusion

Sick of the way I feel

And sick of not being able to let anyone else in my life

For fear of losing them too.